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CGGC (The Future of Comic Book Grading)

May 16, 2002

Wondering what to do now that you’ve had your comics “CGC’d”? Sure, you’ve got a 9.8-certified Micronauts 16, but do you really know its true value? It’s been slabbed, yes, but how good has it been slabbed? We are proud to introduce CGGC, the Comics Guaranty Grading Company, the only business that will grade the slabbing of your CGC-graded comics! The process is elementary. You send us your CGC-graded comics. We then evaluate the quality of the slabbing, assessing the plastic tombs for any noticeable scratches, dents, bumps, bites, food/urine stains, or other imperfections. We place an even larger plastic tomb over the CGC tomb, and we add our "official" grading sticker that ensures the quality of slabbing for decades to come!
For example, the aforementioned Micronauts 16 may have a 9.8 CGC rating, but the plastic tomb, having been dinged around when you proudly showed off this highly collectible comic to your friends and associates (who no doubt lost hours of sleep because of jealousy at having a mere nonofficial, unslabbed 9.8 version of the same comic), might warrant only an 8.5 or 8.0. But because the CGGC plastic tomb is made of the finest polymers and a super-secret plastic alloy, your book is guaranteed to remain at its high level of quality forever and ever and its value will skyrocket like a ground-to-air missile.
Still not satisfied? Want more slab for your buck? May we suggest the Mega-Slab. We take your CGC-slabbed comic, we slab it with our own high-quality plastic CGGC tomb, and then seal it in 10” x 12” coffin composed entirely of high-quality, rust-resistant, tempered steel, creating an airtight vacuum for each of your comics. These light-weight (75 lb) boxes are the ultimate way of ensuring the condition of your comics will absolutely remain unchanged.

STILL NOT CONVINCED? Need further proof of how good CGGC really is? Here are just a few of the hundreds of unpaid testimonials we’ve received:

“I thought my CGC-slabbed Ultimate Spider-Man variant was worth a lot of money before. But after I had it slabbed by CGGC, its value shot thru the roof. I sold it and was able to pay off my student loans and mortgage, marry me a big-ass ho, and still have enough money left for liposuction and a dental cleaning! Thank you CGGC!”
Ray, Ray’s Comics, Plano, TX

“I bought a ROM comic from my local shop’s quarter bin. After having it slabbed by CGC, I took it to CGGC. For only $195 they Mega-Slabbed it and I sold it on e-bay for $1.5 million!”
Lewis, Des Moines, IA

“I lost a finger in a lawn mower accident last summer. Just for kicks I had the severed digit slabbed by CGC--a 9.8 no less! I took it to CGGC and they gave CGC’s slabbing a 9.6! Last week it sold it at Christie’s International for a cool $3.8 trillion. Now I’m off to buy AOL-Time Warner.”
Stan, Los Angeles, CA

The expert staff at CGGC looks forward to doing business with you! We have more than 50 years combined experience in the plastics industry. So, don’t just CGC your comics, remember also to CGGC ‘em! You’ll be glad you did!

For full details be sure to visit www.cggc/moneymoneymoney.com

(Special thanks to Sean McKeever, the brainchild behind CGGC)

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