W I D E   A W A K E

Odds and Ends 3: Second Cousin of Odds and Ends

March 16, 2004

Here's a bad pun for ye...

Why did the clock need a step ladder?
Because time was short.

Yes, 'tis that time of year, when the birds begin to chirp a bit earlier in the morning, the crack dealers start showing up on the corner whistling "Put on a Happy Face," and the taxmen start rubbing hands together (counter clockwise circular motion) in preparation for the impending April 15 deadline.

Donde Esta Valium?

Last weekend my friend Tim, who was visiting from the east coast, expressed a desire to visit Tijuana, Mexico, vacation captial of the world. So we took the drive south, parked at the US/Mexico border, and walked into the heart (or liver, if that's your organ of preference) of town.

There's really no need to vacation in Tijuana. The city consists of plenty of cheap food and eats, novelties and souvenirs, hookers, drug dealers, and women & children begging for money. One fellow offered to sell us valium or ridolin (my choice) at $2.00 a pill. He said he had the pills in his jacket pocket. When we declined he seemed rather astonished. "I thought you were interested?" he asked, heart broken. I was propositioned by a hooker but, you know, there's not enough Corona in the world...

I didn't contribute much to the Mexican economy that day, spending only about $10 on food and beverage. Tim made a few purchases in addition to food and drink. We walked away from the tourist area and up the hills into the more residential parts of Tijuana. There were stares, but nothing much else. It was quite envigorating to journey away from the town central to the more rural hillsides. Nonetheless, evidence of the city's poverty is everywhere, from its people to its homes. I suppose if I was 18 years younger and still consumed alcohol, I'd have found a lot more excitement in Tijuana. But I don't drink much these days, and I didn't drink the water. It was still a fun day-trip that is recommended for one and all.

We returned to the US, passing through immigration and walking to our vehicle. Upon returning to the US side of the border, it's difficult not to reflect on just how different life could be. Without going into a philosophical diatribe, it is uncanny to think that where we are in this world is largely dictated on where we were born, where our ancestors were born. I was born in Pennsylvania. I could just as easily have been born in Texas, Maine, Washington, Mexico, Canada, Columbia. Maybe it's best not to think too much about it. Still, it does kinda' make ya stop and think.

Taking Off...To the Great White North

My friend and neighbor Allan Moyle (Pump Up the Volume, New Waterford Girl, Empire Records) will soon be leaving Venice. He's headed north to Canada to begin work on a new movie that he's directing. I'll miss seeing Allan, but I'm very excited about his new project, and I know it's going to be a work fantastique through his skillful artistic vision. Hurry back, eh?

What's Next?

With Less Than Heroes on it's way to publication, I'm faced with that very question. The logical answer is, of course, Altercations 2, but I'm not sure that's going to see it's completion in the near future. Assuming LTH does well, the gang at Top Shelf may be interested in a collected edition of Death by Chocolate or the second volume of LTH.

I'll end this week with another bad pun...

How did the mob know the clock was an informant?
The clock was heard to have said, "only time will tell."

Don't blame me. I'm just pulling this stuff outta my head...or some other orifice.